Sweetie Darling, Only Absolutely Fabulous Can Save Us From Real Housewives | Cultist | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
Navigation

Sweetie Darling, Only Absolutely Fabulous Can Save Us From Real Housewives

In 1994, our daily media diet included Arsenio Hall and Saved by the Bell. It was not a fantastic time to be stuck at home with cable and no driver's license. Then Comedy Central delivered us from ennui with episodes of BBC's Absolutely Fabulous. And although our 13-year-old pea brains...
Share this:

In 1994, our daily media diet included Arsenio Hall and Saved by the Bell. It was not a fantastic time to be stuck at home with cable and no driver's license. Then Comedy Central delivered us from ennui with episodes of BBC's Absolutely Fabulous. And although our 13-year-old pea brains didn't yet grasp how good vodka could taste at 10 a.m. or how a few Marlboros could substitute a nutritious meal, we were hypnotized by Ab Fab's Patsy and Edina. Played by Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders, these two rich but ridiculous women drank, chain-smoked, and quipped their way through London's Christian Lacroix stores and getaways to Morocco.

Two years later, the show stopped filming. But we relished the reruns, memorizing every sweetie, every darling. Good news, fellow Ab Fab-ers, BBC confirmed that they are indeed filming more Ab Fab this August -- 19 years later. But did Bravo's Real Housewives ruin vanity, drunkenness, and materialism forever? Almost. But check out the following classic Ab Fab clips. When it comes to shallowness, debauchery, and motherhood, Patsy and Edina kick the Real Housewives' liposuctioned asses all the way back to their McMansions in Orange County.



1.  Vanity

Real Housewives have the gall to brandish their questionable plastic surgery while

denying their vanity. Meanwhile, Patsy and Edna throw their head back and scream  affirmations like

"I am thin and gorgeous!" See the remix below:



2. Motherhood
After multiple seasons and cities of Real Housewives, notice a parenting trend? Real housewives from Caroline Manzo to Alexia Echevarria baby their offspring. On the other hand, Edina and Patsy know being a good mother

means calling your daughter you little bitch troll from hell occasionally to

ensure that she doesn't grow up thinking she defecate glitter.



3. They know how to enjoy a wine tasting

Remember when the DC ladies went to the Salahi's (fake) winery and got all plastered and puffy and started passive aggressively making criminal

accusations? Yeah, that's no way to enjoy wine. Watch Edna and Patsy get

it right:




4. Immaturity (i.e. Table Flipping)

So NJ's Teresa raged out and flipped a table. Yawn. These gals' temper tantrum includes flipping the table and trashing their ski lodge room.




5. Basic Entertainment

Real Housewives of Miami was pretty insufferable save for the few awesome one-liners by Elsa Patton. Last time we watched Ab Fab, we shouted "Zing!" 48 times. It's true. We counted. Here's a Best of Ab Fab mash-up:




Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Miami New Times has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.