Zombie Prom Brought Out All the Freaks

Halloween is the time of year that gives people an excuse to dress in wild costumes, either as the stripper they always wanted to be or as exactly what they see in their nightmares. In Miami, there’s no in-between. With the scariest holiday next to election day right around the corner, this past weekend offered a celebratory preview with a party that honors the living dead: Zombie Prom. Halloween came early at the Bar at 1306, and you better believe things got scary.

Curated by Miami’s Notorious Nastie, Zombie Prom brought out all the freaks. Because this coveted party hasn’t happened in over ten years, it wasn’t something to miss. Guests lined up at the door either did the bare minimum with fake blood on a white T-shirt or went all out with spine-chilling makeup and shredded costumes with accessories. Inside on the patio sat a blond-haired woman with horns coming out of her head, dark lipstick, and blood dripping down her hands as she held a human heart, nodding her head to the DJ spinning electronic music to warm up the crowd. Things were about to get spooky.

Over at the bar, bartenders played along, dressed in black with dark lipstick. One bartender sported a sparkling tiara that shined in the flashing stage lights as she poured beers and counted her tips. The music grew louder as the first DJ rocked the decks. Shortly after, the band Lipstick Alley, comprised of a guitarist and bassist, made its way to the stage to greet the zombies in the audience. “This song is about anal sex,” said Zed, the guitarist. Not one person in the audience knew the words, if there were any, but they all nodded along in excitement.
DJ Lamebot then subbed in, encouraging the dead to break a leg on the dance floor. He effortlessly fused house and classic R&B jams, creating the high school dance vibe that Zombie Prom needed. Pigface and the Destroyers was the next band to go on. Few knew what to expect, but as soon as the four finished setting up and announced themselves, the crowd thinned out, seizing the opportunity to reapply makeup.

The lead singer, Pigface, wore a black pig mask and a dildo strapped on top of his white jeans that bounced around during his set. The off-putting sight only grew worse when the band dug deeper into its set, which included songs about penises, fucking, and masturbation. “We’re doing great, right?” yelled Pigface into the crowd. “No, you fucking suck,” said a girl with a drink in her hand before her friend pulled her away into the crowd that now moved back past the bar in fear.
The night went on with another DJ set from LameBot that seemed to loosen the crowd up after that hypersexual performance. As the night grew, the crowd did too, and the acts got better and better. One notable performance featuring Otto Von Schirach and his band had the crowd begging for more after just one song. His long brown hair covered his chest, which dripped with blood as he wailed on the mic.

In all, Zombie Prom gave Miamians an early Halloween fix. The party went on until 4 a.m., allowing the Zombies — known to shun the sun — to make full use of the night. The music was the perfect blend of alternative, rock, house, and R&B, creating the prom experience a zombie could never imagine. Because the party isn’t an annual affair, we can only hope it makes another horrifying appearance next year.