Yeah, spring break! Let's lie in the sun all day, get wasted, and flash our tits!
Thousands of kids come to Miami in just that mindset every spring. But for some of us, the aforementioned display of exuberance is so 10 years ago. Not all college students are 18-year-olds fresh out of high school. With the United States economy in a downward spiral for the past decade or so, many of us have returned to school as adult or commuter students.
And for adult students, the usual spring break activities just don't cut it. We've been there, done that, and bought the penicillin. We've thrown up on dance floors and gobbled up Jell-O shots from sorority girls' belly buttons.
Still, spring fever is infectious at any age, and adult students have the right to party like it's 1999 (which, coincidentally, is when some of us graduated college the first time around). So what's an adult student to do? Why, engage in adult spring break fun, that's what! (And by "adult," we of course mean "naked.")
Read on for three types of nudist spring break vacations sure to please anyone who doesn't require a fake ID to purchase Jager-bombs.
Some of us shudder when we think of cruises, which basically amount to floating Walmarts. Screaming children, pasty Midwesterners in speedos, and an endless supply of crappy food — none of it seems very appetizing when you're in your prime. Fortunately, the
Indulge your Inner Wild Child
If you're more of a landlubber, several all-inclusive resorts promise a hedonistic getaway. The most notorious of these is the aptly named Hedonism in Jamaica. There are several locations, but latitude and longitude are insignificant, since you will never set foot outside the grounds. Each resort is divided into "prude" and "nude" sides. Obviously, we couldn't care less about the prude side, so we "researched" the more appealing part of the resort. From what we've, uh, heard, open sex goes on in several of the resort's open areas such as the hot tub and on the beach. If you wanna get your freak on, this is a good place to start.
The Naked City
We know! We weren't aware that such a place existed this side of the Roman Empire either. Cap d'Agde, France is known worldwide as the Naked City. In the naturist part of town, people do everything a la nude — including banking, groceries, dining, shopping, and we assume, have sex. If you want to do something a bit less touristy than a cruise or a resort, and your
Send us a picture postcard!
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.