Memorial Day Weekend 2012: Top Ten Things to Do Away from the South Beach Apocalypse

The Mayans had it wrong. The world will not end December 21 this year. It ends every year during the last weekend in May.That's when the good people of Miami and the Beaches are swarmed with hoards of tourists flooding in for Urban Beach Week. And it's coming again this...

By Alex Rodriguez

May 21, 2012

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The Mayans had it wrong. The world will not end December 21 this year. It ends every year during the last weekend in May.

That's when the good people of Miami and the Beaches are swarmed with hoards of tourists flooding in for Urban Beach Week. And it's coming again this weekend. Get ready for even more traffic, skin, crime, and loud music (and even less beach parking) than usual on South Beach.

The Great Memorial Day Swarm of 2011 brought over 350,000 people to our city. Sure, the tourist dollars are great for our economy, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Shouldn't it be capped to, like, 200,000 people?

To escape the wrath of South Beach, we've compiled a list of the 10 best things to do around Miami from Thursday to Monday, many of which are free or on the cheap.

Thursday

Miami Metropolitan International Fashion Week: How can you say no to pretty girls in pretty clothes?
The Lee Boys Memorial Day Weekend Kickoff Party: If they're good enough for Coco, they're good enough for us.

Friday

Cog Nomen, PhAxas and Pocket of Lollipops: This is an all-ages event, so bring the kiddies!

Saturday

Punk R Us: Contrary to what you may be thinking, it's best to leave the kids at home for this one.
Ayikodans: Get in touch with your inner interpretive cultural dance, y'all.
"Embedded: A Photojournalist Captures Conflict and Resistance": Take a peek into one man's camera lens from the Cold War era.

Sunday

Memorial Day Comedy Fest: John Witherspoon will be there. You know, from Friday.
'90s Homecoming: Everyone from the New Times office is going. No, really.
"Ed Ruscha: On the Road": Visit the pop art pioneer's great works first hand. No GPS required.

Monday

Sea Kayak & Snorkel Adventure: Did you watch the video? That beats Miami Beach on Memorial Day Weekend! Argue with us if it doesn't.

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