Then you get the weird shit that you've gotta nod your head in agreement when the artist tells you the yellow smudge on the corner of the canvas is allegory for greedy corporations. When you get right down to it, art is pretty much just shit coming out of someone's ass. Some would have you believe that's what Art Walk is all about.
The truth is, Art Walk has become more of a chore than an event. You're hanging out on Saturday, not sure what you're going to do, when your damn hipster friend decides you're going to Art Walk and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. So now you're there walking around looking at most of the same art you saw last month, maybe taking a break to check out some Jamaican guy cook up some jerk chicken.
It's literally coming out of someone's ass. No joke. |
break up the monotony, you follow the sound of music. Music is the fun
art. You don't have to stand there and explain why the chords the guitar
player chose represent Islamic oppression of women or whatever bullshit
your liberal arts buddy with chin pubes read in his international
relations elective course book that morning.
you bite the bullet and look at some random art then formulate some
internal critiques to yourself or your more cynical friends.
you stumble upon something you think looks pretty cool, maybe it's
because you're a little drunk and delirious, or maybe you genuinely find
it pleasing to look at.
you stuffed your face with gluttonous offerings out of the side of a
truck. It's time to go see more fucking art. You stumble onto some place
where the art is a house. Like, just that, a house-like decoration.
leave the little house and make your way to your final gallery before
having put in enough time to then claim you walked some art. On your way
there you stumble onto some shit on the floor. You're not sure if it's
supposed to be art or if it's supposed to be some sort of real message.
But before you leave, you have a message for the world. And that message
is: Stop with the fucking planking craze! Seriously, it's so stupid. In
an effort to curb the popularity of planking we've proposed something
better.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.