If you and your mother aren't particularly close, a once-a-year, fancy-pants Mother's Day brunch can be more than a little awkward. There's the forced small talk, the uncomfortable silences, the potential for mimosa-induced drunken blathering.
So this year, branch out a little, and do something with your mom that'll lead to a little more bonding and a lot less weird squirming over eggs.
See also:
- Mother's Day 2013: The Ten Best Pop Culture Moms of the Year
- Best Mother's Day Brunch Deals in Miami
10. Take her to see The Big Wedding
It's a family-focused chick flick starring lots of old school stars. Perfect mom fodder. And since it's a movie, you don't have to worry about awkward conversation revolving around your current dating life (or lack thereof).
The James L. Knight Center actually hosts a Mother's Day-specific concert, so you'll be surrounded by fellow Miaimans with their madres in tow. It's Stephanie Mills, so expect smooth tunes that should please moms of most musical persuasions.
OK, this isn't that far removed from brunch, but it's way better. Namely because it's Alice in Wonderland themed, and how could that be anything less than awesome? Plus it's at the Ritz. Big hats are encouraged, so that Kentucky Derby attire might actually come in handy again.
7. Bring her around some bikers.
What mom wouldn't want to spend the afternoon with some bearded, tatted, Harley-riding dudes? Head to T-Road, where you can mingle with bikers (and their moms, probs) and nosh on food truck cuisine.
6. Show her some wang at Swinging Richard's.
Ok, this will still be awkward. Super awkward. But hasn't your mom earned some eye candy? If you've got a mom with a wild side, get her drunk and let her watch the Richards swing up, down and all around. They'll probably beat whatever your dad was packing.
Yeah, it's a tear-jerker, but helping your mom adopt a homeless puppy from Miami-Dade Animal Services on Mother's Day will be the bonding experience of a lifetime. Way better than when you broke your arm playing soccer and she told you to suck it up. Although that was totally touching.
4. Help her set up a Match.com profile.
Got a single mom? If she's less than technologically-savvy, you can introduce her to the twisted world of Internet dating. Hell, she might find love before you do -- and you could always use a rich stepdad.
3. Take her to the science museum.
It'll be just like old times, when you dragged her to the dinosaur exhibit 50 times over and threw epic hissy fits when it was time to leave. MiaSci is offering free admission for mom's with a paid kid's admission, so if you're childless, borrow a friend's offspring and make a day of it.
2. Get her ass kicked at a gym.
Nothing beats middle-age sag like some serious cardio ass-kicking. Crossfit 305 should do it. She might hate you in the moment, but she'll thank you when she's a MILF in a teeny bikini this summer.
1. Tell her you love her.
Seriously, that's all she really wants, right? Then again, this is Miami. She might prefer the kind of love that comes in a Tiffany's box. That works too.
Whatever you do, make sure it's a day to remember. She pushed you out of her womb, and that deserves better payback than some overcooked eggs and a watered down mimosa.
Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.
