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With Love, From Pee to Poo

Nowak, in better times

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As Valentine's Day approaches, we're all left to wonder: are we really, truly in love? Do we still get that warm, fuzzy feeling when we snuggle up close to our partner? Do we still take joy in the little things, like a shared laugh, or an afternoon picnic? Do the voices in our head urge us to gather a mallet, knife, bb gun, and rubber tubing in a duffel bag full of love letters and drive, in a diaper full of our own piss and shit, for 950 miles just to pepper spray a rival for our lover's heart?

Only cupid really knows. -Calvin Godfrey

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.