Why Would Anyone Want to be Paris' BFF?

Hey ya'll! Have you heard the news? Paris Hilton is looking for a new BFF -- or at the very least a BFFN (best friend for now). But this begs the question, what kind of person has the burning desire to be best friends with famous-for-making-a-sex-tape Paris Hilton?

Well let me introduce to you to local Paris Hilton's My New BFF contestant 22-year-old Kiki Duarte -- we like to call her The Kikster 'cause we are super BFFs like that. According to her cast bio, the judicial assistant -- exactly the kind of social ladder climbing job you want to have to be Paris' friend -- describes herself as "fabulous," "hot," and "the bomb." (Word of advice Kiki, if you are going to be Paris' Bffles you are going to have to stop using outdated lingo like "the bomb").

But after last night's premiere, it's clear that if Kiki is going to win the lofty prize, she is going to have to cut some bitches up 305-style. See, in the first episode Paris didn't like her potential besties' wardrobes ya'll, so she got on her cute lil' Blackberry and called her gay brigade also known as Richie Rich and Traver Rains of Heatherette. Like the good friend she is, Paris told everyone they looked bad and that if they wanted to be her friend they needed a makeover. Kiki was told that she needed to cut her hair a little shorter so she didn't look so sweet (sluts don't like sweet). All Kiki could do was smile and nod, but expressed some hesitation about cutting her hair, and when it was time to do the deed she start to cry ya'll and said she wanted to go home. How sad!

Well, fellow cast mate Vanessa heard this and snitched to Paris -- Vanessa, we've got a saying down here: snitches get stitches. So when it came down to eliminating someone it was between Michelle, who wouldn't let Paris dye her hair black, or Kiki for crying that she wanted to go home. Paris asked everyone who they thought should go home and everyone said Kiki, but Paris didn't take their advice and kicked out Michelle instead.

So it's Kiki who gets the last laugh -- for now. Some See You Next Tuesday tried to hug her after elimination, but Kiki wasn't having it and told everyone to 'eff off and vowed revenge on the bitches who wronged her.

So will Kiki cut Vanessa up? Will Paris see Kiki's BFF potential? Does anyone really care? Stay tuned.

-- Jose D. Duran

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