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Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin

We don't know about all of you, but we're pretty sick and tired of certain Miami-Dade politicians who keep resorting to their legal attack strategies to stop the will of the people. It's damn time we get ourselves a true leader, a champion of the first amendment, who's gonna come in and let these arrogant, reality detached county officials that the voters run this mother fucker. Hell yeah. 


Now when our man, Luther Campbell,takes office, you can rest assured business at County Hall is gonna have a whole new flavor. Our friends over at WPLG, came up with 43 things to expect under Uncle Luke's mayoral administration. Our five favorites after the jump.


5.  Miami-Dade motto changed to "As Nasty As We Want To Be."

4. Tupac's birthday to be declared an annual county-wide holiday.

3. Flag poles on county property will be replaced by stripper poles.

2. Upon greeting visiting politicians, Mayor Campbell will forsake handshakes for a 3-0-5 hand signal.

1. The temperature in the county will be determined by how many women are topless.

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Francisco Alvarado was born in Nicaragua and grew up in Miami, giving him unique insight into the Magic City and all its dark corners. An investigative reporter with a knack for uncovering corruption, Alvarado made his bones as a staff writer at Miami New Times and remains in dogged pursuit of the next juicy story.