Tim Tebow to the Dolphins? Please, Everyone, Shut Up

So, Peyton Manning has chosen to play for the Denver Broncos, which officially ends the reign of Tebowmania in Colorado.

What does that mean for the Dolphins? The sports media has already cued up the Tebow-to-Miami talks. We'd rather they hit the kill button. Nothing about that makes sense.

The local media speculation actually begin last week before Manning-to-Denver was official. CBS Miami and a few other outlets ran tepid, "Hey, what if Tebow ended up with the Dolphins?" pieces.

Now, that it's official, the speculation is rearing again. In an article entitled, "What Peyton Manning headed to Denver Broncos means for Miami Dolphins," the Sun-Sentinel's Izzy Gould spends four paragraphs near the bottom speculating about Tebow:

The Dolphins might have stiff competition if they pursued a trade with Denver for Tebow. The Jaguars are in desperate need of some star power, and bringing Tebow home to Jacksonville would inject a much needed shot of optimism to a franchise in need.

Jacksonville, however, just signed former Miami Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne to a two-year deal. They also have Blaine Gabbert to compete for the starting job.

Oh, hey, where did this Izzy Gould get his journalism degree? Oh, right, University of Florida.

Of course, he's not alone in the speculation. ESPN mentions the Fins as one of two potential landing spots for Tebow. So do, Pro Football Talk, and countless others.

Granted, my University of Miami degree may be informing my thoughts on this issue as much as Gould's UF degree could be clouding his, but Tebow as a Dolphin just doesn't make much goddamned sense.

The only thing the Dolphins have managed to do this offseason seems to be the hiring of Joe Philbin as head coach. Was he the first choice? No. Did he show a hell of a lot of promise as the offensive coordinator of the Green Bay Packers? You bet. And he accomplished what he did in Green Bay (including a Super Bowl, and a place in the top ten for points scored and total yards every season) with the pro-style, passing machine that is Aaron Rodgers. The guy is the best passer in the league right now, and one of the best in its history. He finished the 2011 season with a passer rating of 122.5.

Tebow? His passer rating was 72.9, 28th out of 34th. (Matt Moore by the way had a passer rating of 87.1 for the season -- 12th in the league. Alex Smith, allegedly another Dolphins target, was ninth; maybe we should see what happens with him before even bothering to dismiss the Tebow talk.)

Philbin and Tebow? Not exactly a recipe for success for either of them, and it's certainly doing no favors to our new coach to charge him with trying to figure out how to incorporate a guy who can't pass into his offense. If this was 2008, and we were still Wildcat-crazy, it just might work. But now? No way. Not even as a backup.

The only thing that could be said in favor of bringing in Tebow is that, well, we might need a QB who can run once in a while considering that after the Brandon Marshall trade, we don't really have much of anyone a QB could actually pass to on the roster.

Then there's the whole matter of Tebow's unique celebrity status. Sure, nowhere is he more beloved than in Florida. The UF faithful still cheer for him like he's playing at the Swamp. On the flip side: in no state is he more hated. Seminoles fans hate him with the intensity of a billion burning tomahawks. And even though the Hurricanes only faced the Gators once with Tebow as their starter, their fans' ire for the guy registers at least a Category 3, if not more.

We can hate Gators fans on Saturday and drink with them on Sunday if they're Dolphins fans, but bringing Tebow to Miami would introduce a weird college alliance dynamic to the Fins fanbase. One that certainly isn't worth it.

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Kyle Munzenrieder