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There Is Nothing Cool About Karl Rove and Mitt Romney

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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking

madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech,

gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke

says Mitt Romney and Karl Rove are a couple of uncool tools.

Karl Rove's super PAC, American

Crossroads, has issued a 46-second political ad attacking President

Barack Obama for being too cool. This is a sneaky way of saying the

commander in chief is too black to be in charge. The offensive spot,

endorsed by Republican Party candidate Mitt Romney, employs a slow

R&B beat and a deep baritone voiceover saying, "Ooooh, yeeaah."

It's followed by a montage of Obama dancing with Ellen Degeneres,

slow-jamming the news with the Roots on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon,

calling Kanye West a jackass, and singing an Al Green tune. "Four

years ago, America elected the biggest celebrity in the world," the

narrator intones, "and America got one cool president."

It's a subliminal message calling Obama a jive turkey.

There is nothing wrong with the leader of the free world being a smooth operator. The public wants a president who invites Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and their United Nations of kids to spend a weekend at the White House. The people like a president who is down with Jay-Z and who can calmly off Osama bin Laden when he gets the chance.

Ronald Reagan was a cool cat, even when he was getting grilled during the Iran-Contra scandal. But you don't hear Romney or Rove talking shit about the Gipper's Hollywood swagger when he was in the White House. The ad concludes that "after four years of a celebrity president, one in two recent college grads are jobless or unemployed, 85 percent are moving back in with their parents, and student loan debt exceeds $1 trillion."

Romney and Rove have some nerve thinking Obama's coolness will alienate young voters. They get excited about Obama because he is not some stuck-up corporate-raider-turned-career-politician. In fact, not too many Americans can relate to a rich white guy with a Swiss bank account.

Romney accuses Obama of being an elitist celebrity, but I bet he couldn't name three of the biggest rappers without Googling them. That's how you know who is the true elitist. Romney is so out of touch that even die-hard Tea Party members don't want to vote for him.

Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.

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