4. Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine

In Philip Levine's world, problems don't exist as long as he can't see them. This year, Levine — who works hard to protect the city from sea-level rise — publicly feuded with scientists and the Miami Herald, who repeatedly said the Beach was pumping actual human poop into the ocean. Levine was wrong. When the Zika virus hit Miami Beach, Levine broke out his best "Mayor From Jaws" impression, stood in front of TV cameras, and said there was no Zika outbreak in Miami Beach. He was proven wrong 12 hours later. Levine was sued this year for allegedly deleting negative comments from public social media pages, called New Times Miami's National Enquirer, and spent months campaigning for Hillary Clinton, hoping for a cabinet-position payoff that never came. Someone also stole $3.6 million from city coffers under his watch, and it took his administration a full month to notice. It's astounding we can still see his face under all of that egg.

5. Jeb Bush

Please clap.