Flotsam

The Britney Spears/Economic Crisis: Jon Stewart for President

The image of a bald Britney Spears attacking an SUV with an umbrella is pretty much as good as any visual metaphor for our economy right now: volatile, fear-driven and in the midst of a major crisis. Then perhaps economists should breath a sigh of relief when they watch Britney's new video for her single "Womanizer." Britney Spears is back on her way to top form, folks, and if even she can bounce back, then surely there's a couple of pointers she can give our economy in its own attempt at recovery.

See, Britney and the economy both found themselves in the hands of greedy handlers who forgot they don't exist solely for those with power to siphon away small fortunes. Sure, Britney is only here to provide empty pop pleasure and the economy is here to put food on our table, but the point remains the same: greed corrupts at the expense of the populace, whether you're Richard Fuld or Sam Lufti.

Much like the economy, Britney needs guidance. A free market and a free Britney run wild, often into ruin, whether it's marrying Kevin Federline or the Dow dropping 10,00 points. But a Britney or an econmy forced to rehab purely for immediate short term or profit means meltdown.

Britney didn't truly start getting things back together until a court placed her in the conservatorship of her father, Jamie Spears. Mr. Spears of course has an interest in the ongoing financial success of the Britney empire, but also cares about the fundamental health of the Britney. The economy right now needs something like Jamie Spears. Someone who can turn the institution back into the glittering star it always was while ensuring it's long term health and stability. Jon Stewart, the job is yours.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

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Kyle Munzenrieder