Lately my gym has been calling me. Day and night. I figured that I owed them money, so to the voicemail they went. Then the sneaky fuckers blocked their number and rang me at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. I answered. I grimaced. I paid. But what I was happy to find out was that I could cancel my membership anytime. After paying my past due -- I did just that. Forget long rides to Coconut Grove and those hellish steps at the entrance to my gym, I'm looking for free ways to carve myself a new body.
Undoubtedly chi-chi fitness haven Equinox is responding favorably to our sinking economy and lack of disposable income by offering free classes at their South Beach location. On Tuesdays, get your charka in line at Sunset Salutations Yoga. This hourlong class ohms from 5:30 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. on the beach at 5th and Ocean. Yogi Coco Farnum will lead you through postures, Asana, Pranayama, Dharana, and Dhyana. Whatever that is. Click here to educate yourself, then send me an email with the breakdown. Thanks.
More free workout options after the jump...
If something more high energy is what you're looking for, skip yoga and join the Beach Booty Boot Camp each Thursday morning from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. on the beach. I'm not interested in anything named after something that the hard-core U.S. Marine Corps does, but this class's combination of traditional kicks and punches and easy-to-follow dance moves has me intrigued. I'm so wondering if the "Lean Back" or the "Stanky Leg" have made it into the class.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
For those who like their calorie burning to be a little less conspicuous, Equinox is offering all a game of volleyball. Extreme Volleyball Professionals instructor Weyni Johnson will first lead members and non-members alike through some simple drills that will get you familiar with spiking and diving. The class is meant to make you a competitor at one of the many courts on South Beach. Show 'em who's king (or queen) of the sand.