Snooki Will Write a Novel, Denies Alcohol Poisoning Claims

Earlier this week came reports that petite princess of poofdom Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi had a secret near death experience while shooting Jersey Shore in Miami stemming from alcohol poisoning. She's refuted the rumors, and in fact, she's living life right now perhaps at a level higher than most of us. So, obviously, she's taking the logical step from the world of reality TV to the literary world and is set to write her first novel.

Jonathan Franzen, watch out, we've got America's new greatest novelist.

"No, that's not true," Snooki simply told Access Hollywood when asked about rumors she was taken to the hospital in Miami for alcohol poisoning.

What a glorious way with words she has. She can convey so much in so few words. Which is why we're so excited for her debut novel, A Shore Thing.

The book is set to be released in January 2011 by Gallery Books a division of Simon and Schuster.

"Who better than Snooki to write a fun, sexy novel about a single girl looking for love on the Jersey Shore?" reads the press release.

Well, if the novel is even half as good as her previous literary effort, Letter to Sammi, then we imagine no one.

Please tell me you need a ghost writer, Snooki. I'm totally available.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder