Six Reasons the Dolphins Big Win Sunday Wasn't a Fluke

So, was that legit? Dolphins fans have to be asking themselves that question this week as the glow wears off from the Phins 33-20 ass-punting of the New England Patriots. After watching the Dolphins start 3-0 last year, then darf-and-barf away the season in every way possible, you really can't blame them.

It seemed like the same old Dolphins early, down 20-10 to the Patriots, swiss-cheese defense, and three-straight drives that resulted in a turnover. Then, it happened. Out of nowhere, the Dolphins did super-not-Dolphins-like-crap, to the shock and amazement of us all. But can they keep it up, especially against a schedule that turns from easy to down right impossible come later in the season?

I think maybe-probably-not they can, and here is why.

1. Lazor Savior! Pheww, phewwwww, phewwwwwww! The Dolphins finally have a competent play-caller.

Ahhhh, it feels so good watching the Miami Dolphins run an offense that doesn't look like it belongs on ESPN Classic. Bill Lazor updated the Dolphins offense software Sunday, and the result was an exciting, fast paced, thirty-three-point performance. I'm as shocked as you. After years of suffering through 16-13 games for what feels like forever, Dolphins fans saw a team that actually looked like it has a chance to be, I mean, dangerous on offense? Weird.

2. Knowshon Moreno runs like a razor covered bowling ball rolling down a hill.

Whenever your team cuts a guy fans have nicknamed "vagina feet", the next man up will most likely be an upgrade. And upgrade, Moreno is.

Moreno dick-punched Patriots in his path all day Sunday, on his way to 134 yards and a touchdown in his Dolphins debut. Dolphins players were in awe of Moreno's intensity, and found it contagious. As long as Moreno stays healthy, the Dolphins have finally found a back that blends the ability to break a big play, with the tenacity to run a guy over. Moreno is also a hug upgrade in pass protection compared to what the Dolphins have had in recent years, something that showed up big time Sunday, as the Dolphins gave up just one sack.

3. Dan Marino is back, and with him comes that good mojo-juju-stuff.

Dan Marino Era 2.0 got off to a bangin' start Sunday. For so long Marino has wasted his talents as a hired mannequin on CBS, somehow saying nothing for over a decade, but NO MORE! Marino shan't waste his powers! Marino back in the fold and at least a presence in the locker room and on the field it just feels right, and the Dolphins can use every bit of positive juju from any angle possible to turn this decade-long-crap-train-of-a-nightmare around.

4. You can already tell this Dolphins team is #StrongerTogether. Hash tag, so far.

Everything looked different Sunday, including the emotion on the field. Sure, it was one game, but you could see how different the excitement was after a big play. The last few years the Dolphins have been a team that mopes around on the field, and let a bad play snowball into a bad game. The Phins fell down 20-10, then promptly came out of the locker room and put their foot in the Patriots ass to the tune of 23-0. That's the sign of a different team, and that's how teams win games that will put them in the playoffs later on.

5. Mike Wallace is finally not being controlled by your Grandpa playing Madden for the first time.

Mike Sherman neutered Mike Wallace all last season, and it was obvious to everyone that watched the games. The Dolphins paid Mike Wallace huge money, so apparently they thought that meant they could just program him to be whomever they wanted. Nope, sorry. Wallace looked fantastic at times in Lazor's new offense, and was obviously more comfortable in the system. Wallace still had a bad drop, and missed a few connections with Tannehill, but overall seven catches for 81 yards and a TD in the first game was a great sign of things to come this year.

6. Nobody is talking about the Dolphins 2014 offensive line, and that's a good thing.

Five new starters, including an emergency stop-gap center brought in at the last second in Samson Satele, played on Sunday yet the Dolphins offensive line looked much improved. After giving up 58 sacks last year, that's not exactly saying much, but this line was more than serviceable versus the Pats -- it was outstanding. Almost 200 yards rushing and just one sack given up is the kind of thing the best lines in the league shoot for, which is exactly what Miami's front five did Sunday. Once Mike Pouncey returns from his hip injury mid-season this Phins line has a chance to be not just good, but great.

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Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi