Program Notes

I'll take your words even if you won't tell me your name:
"This is a crass and insensitive article I just read in New Times about Kurt Cobain. There's no place for writing something like that. You don't like the guy's music, that's fine. You've got to glorify that a week after the guy dies? You know, that's crap, man. New Times is a decent paper and I don't understand why they'd employ someone like you, who has no insight into anything. Who the hell is Greg Baker? He's a shithead."

"You don't know me, this is a call of goodwill. I read your most recent review of the Kurt Cobain scenario and I have to tell you you're absolutely right. Both Pearl Jam and Nirvana A highly, highly overrated. It's fuzz music. Anyway, keep up the good work. I just wanted you to know your article was appreciated. Thanks."

As everyone knows by now, Natural Causes broke up (following the law requiring all groups to disband any time this newspaper runs a story about them). Oh, okay, they didn't break up, but Matt and Karen have left, with Sean Gould taking over on bass. The band showcases tonight (Thursday) at Stephen Talkhouse and appears on the Hot Tuna bill there tomorrow.

Load gots the punk next Wednesday at the Edge.
We'll get to the Singapore Slings down around butthorn country, but for now we'll take a crack at this. Some kids from the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale A I think, I really didn't have time to sit down and talk with them A brought by a bunch of info about the X-scape the Madness concert that takes place Saturday at Sunland Park, 1450 Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale. Popular Atlanta singing group Xscape headlines a bill that also features Last Chapter, Nu Balance, Basic Unity, Uncut, DJ Uncle Al, Lourdes and Marie, and Skin Tight. Call 463-3000 or 800-275-7603.

Just keep heading north and never look back. If you go up to West Palm Beach for Sunfest, check out the north stage at about 5:30 tomorrow A Gary King and the Dream will be opening for Al Jarreau.

Pssst: This Saturday's another MayDay rave. It's at Power Studios (3701 NE Second Ave.). Call 579-1999. And don't tell anyone.

Big Bob the Spam God hosts the Third Annual Basketcase Friski Party tomorrow (Friday) at Squeeze. Naturally enough, Basketcase will perform, Keith "Scramble" Campbell will paint, and cartoonist W. Kelley Lucas (creator of Friski) is another draw.

Crash Basket is playing tomorrow (Friday) at Churchill's Hideaway and next Wednesday at Squeeze (the band's first electric gig at that club). Omine opens both shows. For about the third week in a row, Crash Basket's Paul Roub has promised me a tape. Yeah, you're back in the studio and want to put the new stuff on it. Sure, bro, like I've never heard that one before.

September30 plays May 1. Um, let me try that again. The band called September30 performs this Sunday at Chili Pepper. You can get their tape for five bucks at the show or send seven dollars to 5795 Miller Dr., Miami, 33155.

Halo -- long ago known as Picasso Trigger and undeniably one of the best rock bands in Florida -- has come up with a brilliant way to finance their CD. You are now their record label. By donating twenty dollars, you get the CD (autographed) plus your name in the liner notes and an invite to the release party. The band will use the money to pay for the pressing of the disc. Brilliant. They're hoping to get the thing out by the end of May. Send checks made out to Oscar Herrera (trust me, you can trust him) to 15136 SW 128th Ct., Miami, 33186.

This weekend is Guitar Weekend at MoJazz. Bob Whitlock, Randy Johnston, and Simon Salz are among the stars laying out the picks, plucks, and strums.

Next Wednesday at Talkhouse: the Holy Terrors, Tuen, and Jim and Jonelle.
A nice letter from S. Pedersen: "Just a note to say I always read your column. I like the cat pictures and the stories you write. Also the 'Butthorn of the week.' There are so many around, how do you choose?"

Butthorn of the week: You choose.
The media circus: We might not be able to put out our own CD, but me and you are gonna get rich quick. Just don't tell anybody! What we'll do, see, is open the Caretaker Caning Clinic. Everyone in America thinks it's really cool that the nation of Singapore is gonna beat the hell out of that teen (alleged) vandal. That's what this nation needs, damn it: a little less communication and little more ass whipping. Unfortunately, it will take years for the American government to institute a caning policy, but this is free enterprise's very opportunity. We'll call it the Caretaker Caning Clinic. We'll run big ads: "Can't control your own offspring? Kids running wild in the streets? Bring them to CCC, where a trained martial artist will whack your rug rat until he or she hemorrhages! Just $10 per lashing -- or three for $25! Our canings can't be beat!" Something like that.

Pet corner: "Should I still boycott L'Oreal? Do they still test products on living animals?" No and no. I checked with ARFF and they report that L'Oreal halted animal torture about a year ago because of pressure put on them by people like you.

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Greg Baker