The Florida Panthers, a professional team that plays a sport known as hockey, could make history this season! If they miss the playoffs, they'll have the record for most consecutive seasons in the NHL to miss the playoffs. Ten in a row, baby!
Yeah, the Panthers don't have much proud history, so in order to sling tickets, they're trading in on the history of the Miami Dolphins. They're offering "perfect season tickets" for the low, low price of $19.72.
Yes, $19.72, as in the year 1972 when the Dolphins achieved the only perfect season in the NFL's modern history.
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"We're all excited about the start of football season and hoping for another perfect season from Miami's favorite football team," team president Michael Yormark said, a href="http://blogs.sun-sentinel.com/sports_hockey_panthers/2010/09/panthers-tiks-for-perfect-season-price.html">according to the Sun-Sentinel. Yes, we're all excited for the start of football season. I am not so sure if we can say the same for hockey season.
To take advantage of the deal, you have to buy your tickets before the Dolphins' 1 p.m. kick-off this weekend against the Bills.
We kind of wonder what other South Florida sports teams' histories the Panthers could exploit to try to sell their tickets. Here are some free suggestions for their marketing department:
- The Perfect Storm Package: five tickets, one for each Miami Hurricanes' national championship, for the price of $83, as in 1983, the year of their first. (Owing to the possible embarrassment of fans shouting, "Go Canes," during the game, the package is not available for games against Carolina.)
- The Miami Thrice Experience: Ever wish you could enjoy sports with two of your best friends? Now you can play LeBron, Wade, and Bosh with a VIP package for three people to a Panthers game. The set of three rink-side seats will sell for the price of a nosebleed seat to next season's Miami Heat games (which is still, probably, a little high).
- The Florida Marlins Boondoggle: Apparently, the Marlins have lots and lots of money, and they're sorry for making taxpayers foot the bill for their new stadium. As an apology, they offer all Miami-Dade taxpayers a ticket to a Panthers game just to remind them that, yes, there is a worse sports team in South Florida.