Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken in Miami-Dade County in the week previous. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain-out look more badass than we ever will . This is the italicized intro to that series.
Charged with: False imprisonment, domestic violence, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon
Isn't this one of the early-level bosses in Streets of Rage?
Charged with: Grand theft, driving under the influence
We just like this guy's ostrich-like face. We have a strange urge to feed him a spoonful of yogurt. 98-percent chance his name is Larry.
Charged with: Burglary, resisting an officer, introduction of unlawful possession into jail
Are those Taser bolts? That might be the must-have accessory for mugshots in 2011.
Charged with: Burglary, grand theft
Memo to the oft-arrested in Miami-Dade: Spiderwebs aren't spooky anymore. Are you going to have us wear a blindfold and put our hands in cold noodles and say it's brains next?
Charged with: Resisting an officer with violence, disorderly conduct
We stand corrected. This guy just believed the grapes were eyeballs.
Charged with: Strongarm robbery, out-of-state warrant
Back to the slammer. We have an office pool as to what kind of instantly-faded tattoo he gets next. I'm going with a dollar sign right on the tip of his nose.