Mugshots Friday: Hugh Hefner of the Streets and the Animal Cruelty Of A Ponytail

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 2/6

Charged with: Out-of-state warrant

This guy is best friend material.

Arrested: 2/7

Charged with: Drinking alcoholic beverages in public, disorderly intoxication

So does he have to turn those necklaces in to the property dude at the jail before going into a cell? And when he gets them back tomorrow when he's sober, will they seem ironic? Is that the proper use of the word "irony"? Many questions on this one.

Arrested: 3/6

Charged with: Unknown

We hope that rousing dudes from their beds and arresting them with no charges doesn't become a thing. Mugshots Friday will suffer if it's just a bunch of guys looking drowsy in their bathrobes.

Arrested: 2/8

Charged with: Possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, grand theft, possession of cannabis

Dude, when you look like that you don't need a firearm. Haven't you heard? Guns don't kill people, you kill people.

Arrested: 2/6

Charged with: Battery

Lots of hard cases this week. This guy looks like he got that bandage head-butting Jason Stratham.

Arrested: 2/3

Charged with: Animal cruelty

Ponytails disgust and befuddle us. Aren't there enough things to worry about in life without adding having an ample number of scrunchies to the list?

Arrested: 2/2

Charged with: Loitering or prowling, battery on a law enforcement officer

That's just a weird look. It's like he's remembering a very prolonged but pleasant poop.

Arrested: 2/6

Charged with: Battery

Among the Dolphins logos and the "Blood Money", this fellow also found time to get his full name, Keidrick Johnson, inked above his eyebrows. Which... if you're partaking in an activity that gets "blood money"-- and we're gonna assume this fella isn't a cigarette executive-- you're going to be on the run from cops one day, and having your full name on your face won't be... ah, forget it.

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Gus Garcia-Roberts