Mugshots Friday: Hipster Stache

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 4/20

Charges: Shooting or Throwing a Deadly Missile, Criminal Mischief and Cannabis Possession.

This is the kind of guy you'd expect to be in a hipster band called The Deadly Missiles instead of throwing them. The hell was he even doing here last weekend? We know Coachella has gone a bit mainstream, but wasn't there a three-part lecture series deconstructing the meaning of Animal Collective lyrics somewhere in Brooklyn?

Arrested: 4/19

Charges: Aggravated Assault

Oh, so that's what Santa does during the rest of the year.

Arrested: 4/19

Charges: Aggravated Battery

Yes, that's a Hello Kitty tattoo on his neck. Wonder what he thinks of that new Avril Lavigne song.

Arrested: 4/18

Charges: Battery and Resisting an Officer

Well, see, here we are always under the impression that Hell was a cold place, but thanks to this man's informative tattoo we've since learned that Hell is generally believed to be a rather hot place. You learn something new every day.

Arrested: 4/24

Charges: Petit Theft

Bro, you're in here for petit theft. No need to mean mug like that. Tough guy expressions are reserved for grand theft charges and above.

Arrested: 4/23

Charges: Defrauding an Innkeeper

But the real crime here is wearing a Bulls jersey in Miami in the middle of the playoffs. Yes, we can tell just from the shoulders, if not the look on his face.

Arrested: 4/17

Charges: Battery

If this isn't exactly how you'd imagine a 60-year-old woman who would still try to beat your ass dresses like then I'm not sure what would be.

Arrested: 4/21

Charges: Aggravated Battery

Something tells us this might have been the best shot they were able to get and then gave up.

Arrested: 4/23

Charges: Stolen Tax Revenue

Well, we did hear they gave Ronald McDonald a makeover this week.

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