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| Columns |

Mugshots Friday: Gorbachev of the Streets

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Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 5/6

Charged with: Retail theft, Disorderly conduct/ breach of the peace

She's all wrapped up with a bow like a present to Miami-Dade Corrections, ready to be re-gifted to society.

Arrested: 5/8

Charged with: Criminal mischief in excess of $1,000

Dudes who wear tons of lanyards and heart-shaped necklaces and really tight hats are cool. We have a feeling his home office is crazy-- like he's got every water bill since the '70s in big plastic containers, and maybe an organized penny collection.

Arrested: 5/5

Charged with: Disorderly intoxication

God bless the dads. Sure, they might go a little wild and get arrested for disorderly intoxication every once in a while. But then the mugshot camera catches their tribute to their little six-year-old daughter Destiny, and the whole thing becomes Hallmark sweet.

Arrested: 5/5

Charged with: Battery

NECK!!!

Arrested: 5/7

Charged with: Panhandling, consuming alcohol in public

You may think this guy is the ultimate poseur, injuring his head in a transparent attempt to look more like Mikhail Gobachev. But you forget that Gorbachev once said: "My biggest dream at the moment is to get drunk for my 75th birthday. No matter what it may lead to." I'm pretty sure he would respect this guy's steez.

Arrested: 5/3

Charged with: Possession of a controlled substance

This guy's I'm-about-to-kick-your-ass face is top-notch. Put on 3D glasses and this picture becomes scarier than Saw IX.

Arrested: 5/4

Charged with: Cannabis possession

Cover the left side of his face with your palm. Lookin' good! Cover the right side. Lookin' bummy! Ah, good times.

Arrested: 5/2

Charged with: Cocaine possession

Anytime you're arrested in rollers, we're going to feature you on MF. We like it when life imitates The Lockhorns.

Arrested: 5/3

Charged with: Possession of a controlled substance, tampering with physical evidence, petty theft

We have seen a lot of eyes-on-neck tattoos. We have never seen one that looks so much like a deranged owl.

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