| Columns |

Mugshots Friday: God Forgives, Bad Tattoos Don't

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.


Charges: Cannabis Possession

His face reads "God Forgives, I Don't" around his eyes. Was this his tattoo artist's response when he asked him to apologize for letting him put all those other stupid tattoos on his face?

Arrested: 5/22

Charges: Vehicular Grand Theft

We've seen ol' eye slash tattoo guy in Mugshots Friday before, and each time he gets arrested we hope he turns his life around. Then we realize he has an eye slash tattoo.

Arrested: 5/22

Charges: Drinking in Public

This guy could really turn his life around by starting a service where parents pay him to scare the crap out of their misbehaving kids. You don't always need a missing limb to remind kids to leave a note.

Arrested: 5/22

Charges: Grand Theft Third Degree

Welcome to Miami-Dade, we're even the abuelas are hardcore.

Arrested: 5/22

There's actually nothing less provocative than wearing a t-shirt that says "provocative."

Arrested: 5/22

Charges: Battery

Might have been a rough night, but at least nobody snatched your weave.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.