Mugshots Friday: FTW and Trust No Man

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Arrested: 3/05

Charges: Petit Theft

The italicized entry to Mugshots Friday promises "some mockery of bad neck tattoos" and is there really a bad neck tattoo more deserving of mockery than the internet phrase FTW (For The Win!) rendered in ugly font?

Arrested: 3/05

Charges: Cocaine Trafficking

The mature Chonga on-the-go knows that just tattooing your eyebrows on instead of applying fresh Sharpie every day saves a lot of time in your morning routine.

Arrested: 3/01

Charges: Cannabis and Controlled Substance Possession and Disorderly Conduct

Gurrrl! You do not walk into the drag queen section at the fake lash store, buy the biggest ones, and then only apply the top halves and then wear them with a no-makeup daytime look. It looks like if you blink too much you'd accidentally take flight.

Arrested: 3/03

Charges: Cocaine Possession

A gentle reminder, kids, that Spring Break has to end sometime.

Arrested: 3/02

Charges: Cannabis and Drug Paraphernalia Possession and Petit Retail Theft

Sir, we don't mean to alarm you, but it appears there's a medium size bird building a nest on top of your head.

Arrested: 3/03

Charges: Attempted Murder, Aggravated Assault, Battery on a Police Officer and Resisting Arrest.

Nice tattoo buddy, but real members of the illuminati aren't arrested and they don't attempt to kill people, now what I'm saying?

Arrested: 3/05

Charges: Threatening a Public Servant, Disorderly Conduct and Assault on a Police Officer

I'd really like to know what the rest of her t-shirt reveals she ♥s, but I'm just gonna guess it's tacky silver pendants.

Arrested: 3/04

Charges: Petit Theft and Controlled Substance Possession.

We found him! The only person in Miami-Dade who watches Duck Dynasty!

Arrested: 3/01

Charges: Cannabis Possession and Tampering with Physical Evidence

This mugshot has already made its way to the internet pages of other outlets earlier in the week. All we have to add is the fact that none other than Madonna posted this on her Instagram account the very next day. Yes, this lady is a true trend setter. From mugshot to celebrity instagram in just one day.

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