Charged with: Aggravated battery
Talk about old school, and not in some lame ironic way. This guy's clearly got a fearsome roundhouse. He probably literally lost his shirt betting on bull-baiting. Why do we get the feeling he chugs pickle juice to coat his insides so that he can slowly drain a gallon of rye to keep him warm during a shift on the docks?
Charged with: Possession of cocaine with intent to distribute
If you instantly thought Avatar instead of Fern Gully, you're too young to be reading this and you should go, like, masturbate on Friendster or something.
Charged with: Organized fraud, obtaining property by impersonation, fraudulent use of an ID, grand theft, marijuana possession
Does this mean that somewhere out there, a guy who actually drives a Bentley has a Hyundai logo on his Adam's apple?