4
| Columns |

Miami Could Be The First Wave In A Stripper Tsunami

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Uncle

Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme

Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for

Miami

New Times.

This week, Luke -- who is a candidate to replace

more-boring-than-bread-pudding Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez --

explains his plan to tax strippers for the public good.

On

the campaign trail, voters and radio show hosts have been telling me

that exotic dancers are not going to like me. They aren't going to

vote for Luther Campbell because of my proposal to tax them. That is

just flat wrong. Strippers love Luke. Pretty soon, now that voters

have booted Carlos Alvarez, everyone is going to cast their ballots

for yours truly.

When I move into that big office in county hall, I'm not going to repeat Texas's mistakes back in 2007. There, state legislators approved a $5 tax for each customer who entered a strip club. A Texas judge and a state appeals court struck down that law as unconstitutional.

So, fellas, relax. It's not gonna cost you more to get a lap dance -- unless a stripper is running game on you.

What I'm proposing is actually done in other major metropolitan areas. Take Atlanta. The city charges exotic dancers $350 for a permit to perform. In Houston, the city just raised its license fee for a new "gentlemen's club" dancer from $60 to $250. In some cities, these licenses have produced millions of dollars in annual revenue. And considering the hole that Alvarez dug for us, this could be a big plus.

Local police conduct background checks on female entertainers. That's a good thing.

If a stripper makes five or even six figures a year -- and some do -- a few hundred bucks to register with the state like a real estate agent or a nurse is a wise investment. For one, cities could keep underage girls out of the industry. For another, they could actually take care of their people.

Miami could be the first wave in a stripper tsunami. Exotic dancers from across the nation come here to get naked. We have more strip clubs than anywhere in the United States. We're home to the two largest strip clubs in the country -- Tootsie's Cabaret and King of Diamonds -- where P. Diddy and Rick Ross recently made $1 million rain on the dancers.

And just to make sure folks don't say I'm discriminating against women, I'm proposing male strippers pay for licenses too. In the end, the money would be used for much-needed services such as child care and after-school programs to help single moms -- and single dads -- raise their kids right.

Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.