Message to Local Lawyers: Please Do Not Get Involved in the Dangers of Sexting

Are you in for some early morning schaudenfraud with your coffee? If not, move along.

We all know sexting is a very dangerous thing for teens. The cover of Reader's Digest and various local news "special" "reports" have told us so. Unfortunately, it can also ensnare white collar professionals in its dangerous ways. 

So, some seemingly regular joe goes off for work reasons to Canada for a few weeks, and comes back to realize that his wife and mother of his four kids has not only been, maybe voraciously sexting and sleeping with a lawyer at mega-law firm White & Case's Miami offices but went to one of their kid's school recitals with her. He then proceeds to freak the hell out over e-mail. Of course, the emails promptly get forwarded around the legal world before being leaked online. 

In the emails, the man's name is replaced with "Cuckolded in Canada," the wife is "SexyLexus," and the lothario lawyer is Miami White (we're assuming the references his law firm, not necessarily his skin tone). 

So, here's the text message Cuckold apparently finds: 

Miami White, 

Families, wives, young children are valuable things. I work hard to take care of my family - a wife, 4 small children under the age of 6. It is the most valuable thing in the world to me. 

When you decided to start sleeping with my wife while I was out of town over the last few weeks (May 27 - June 7 2009), you threatened my way of life, and you really hurt a lot of people - most notably the lives of my 4 very young children. 

You are a securities lawyer at White & Case, so you know how to do due diligence. Perhaps you thought it was clever or fun, but attending a school recital with my wife who you've just met and started sleeping with over the last few weeks is extremely poor judgement. Sleeping with other mens wives, is alone, perhaps the poorest taste and the worst judgement all on its own. It implies a very low moral character. Perhaps you wish to plead ignorance, but a simple search on my name on the internet would indicate that I take a great deal of pride in my family. But after reviewing the text messages between you and my wife it would appear that you did the due diligence, that you knew she was spending the summer with me in Canada starting last week, and that we had small children and you were jeopardizing my family with your actions.

The whole affair, with text messages, dirty web-caming, and a *shocking* response from the wife continues on.

So Cuckold gets back from Canada, and finds a number of suspicious text messages on his wife's phone. His commentary is interspersed:

Cuckolded in Canada: It starts off fast so you'll need to come up to speed quickly... There are 4 guys SexyLexus is fooling around with... but then again I only have the messages going back to May 28. 

3rd Guy to the Party to Sexy Lexus: Just got home. Is it ok if I get there at 1015. Need a shower and have to get pretty for u. Lol. 

SexyLexus to Abiding Dude: I would love to talk to u and kiss for hours :) Abiding Dude: Sweet. Does this involve a rolling stones t shirt? 

SexyLexus: More bareback 

Cuckolded in Canada: Are you kidding me? We're married with 4 kids and she's talking about doing more bareback with this guy? 

Miami White: Loving it! 

Cuckolded in Canada: This is the first apparent physical contact with Miami White. My guess is Miami White is fooling around with SexyLexus behind his friend Abiding Dude back at this party. Remember - 2 hours ago 3rd Guy to the Party was getting ready to meet SexyLexus at the party and was excited to see her again... This message comes after a long break - I think Miami White and SexyLexus slipped into a room and fooled around a bit. Then Miami White sent the message "loving it". I guess because he was fucking over his friend, and fooling around with a married woman at the same

He sends these of course, in the email.

Along with the fact that he's suddenly discovered his wife is a porn star:

Now - if you want to pick a fight with me, know who and what you are defending. I have attached screen captures taken yesterday from SexyLexus's very active porn site which has fan postings that show it is very active.

Ya'll still following? I'm not sure I am, entirely.

So these insane emails start getting forwarded around the law firm, and eventually wind up on Above The Law, a blog about lawyers and the various lawyer things they may or may not do.

So, SexyLexus, the wife/cam girl responds to this blog to affirm that she is not actually a slut.

Basically she says that her so called porn career amounts to a cam site, and that her husband encouraged the activity because it brought in extra money. She also says she's been separated from Cuckold for over the year, and has only been with Miami White for two weeks, and he's never met her kids. 

So, um? 

Ok. Basically here is the point: there is some jealous ex out there, and inside of Miami's most prestigious law firms they basically like to giggle over gossip about their co-workers. The End!

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Kyle Munzenrieder