Little Elvis Sighting Reported On A Plane

The World Weekly News has been reporting Elvis sighting for years now, but the corrupt mainstream media never took them seriously. Well, now they're finally covering the phenom, as a lady on a flight from Houston to Miami swears she spotted a little Elvis last week. The "little Elvis" of Puerto Rican singer Elvis Crespo, that is.

The lady told the crew of the plane that she saw the merengue hit maker masturbating on the plane. He was questioned by the police once the plane touched down in Miami over whether he was touching down on himself, but couldn't recall anytime when he was involving himself in a little explicit self-love. The FBI is even involved, but so far, no charges have been made.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder