Letters from the Issue of January 19, 2006

Superheroes Go Baghdad

Leaps tall buildings in a single joke: I read Rebecca Swift's letter about sending nuclear waste to Iran, "Some Joke, Dudette" (January 12). Sirs, I am outraged! Ms. Swift has not thought through all the consequences of her terrible, dark plan! If we dump nuclear waste in Iran, the effects of the radiation are too horrific to think about!

Does she not realize the vast majority of superheroes are made through exposure to radiation and the like? Seeing as we're likely to invade Iran as long as W still rules America, we should avoid strengthening our enemies. Do we really want to send our Marines into the line of fire against such radiation-enhanced Iranis as Spider-imam? I tremble at the thought of having to face down Bat-mullah or Wolveriite!

Errol Portman

A Crabby Fellow

Lighten up, clawhead: Nice story by Rob Jordan, "Net Loss" (January 12). You forgot to mention the fishing village was built as the set for the movie Island Claws. The same guy that did the special effects for King Kong back in the Eighties also did the crab and claws for that film. Otherwise everything was right-on in your story.

I love to take visitors there because it shows another part of Miami you would never see if you didn't know a local. It's kind of a hometown secret.

Jack Pakonis

A Gutsy Fellow

Ah, go join the Marines: Regarding Emily Witt's "The Few, The Proud ..." (January 12): I am a former Marine (now college student at FIU) and I just wanted to remark that she did a wonderful job relaying the feelings of the first evening at Marine Corps boot camp. It was an extremely gut-wrenching experience, and reading her words made me feel like I was there again. Thank you for the flashback.

Juan Sanchez

A High-Flying Fellow

Gives perspective, dude: I thought "Damnation by Decibel" (January 5) by Rob Jordan was great. It was like taking a helicopter ride above the city — he was all over it!

Alberto Mederos
Miami Beach

Shut up!: I enjoyed "Damnation by Decibel." Here's a little something you might find amusing. Call it "Hear, Noise, Throat."

Before I even made it in the door, I knew there would be a long wait at the doctor's office.

How long? I asked the receptionist.

About 40 minutes, she responded.

So I settled in with a magazine for Southern women, called DEEP. I inhaled it lightly, in tiny sips, just like the proper Southern lady I was on my way to becoming.

In the meantime, I was surrounded not by a sleepy ol' Southern town but by the bustling, bilingual, bicultural, multinational metropolis Miami has become. A lady sitting to my left turned out to be the grandmother of the little girl playing at the kiddie table, while the child's corpulent father talked on his cell phone. The girl's mother arrived shortly thereafter.

Tell me, does a patient need an entourage of three? Only in Miami.

Meanwhile a lady sitting to the right of the reception window was screeching into her cell phone in Spanish. She was within range of the entire reception room.

And then a nattily dressed fellow sitting diagonally across from me began his little cell phone routine. Oh, yes, how important for us to hear all about his business.

Soon we all were subjected to a discussion of these two patients' ailments. Aaah, the slings and arrows of outrageous tonsils.

Fortunately the polite young woman to my right gave way to a young man with a slight yet distinguished accent. He turned out to be Greek and gave me free computer advice, for which I am most grateful.

At long last, I was called in. The hydrogen peroxide had worked wonders. I could certainly hear all of that noise coming out of all of those throats. Y'all come back, now, ya hear?

Georgina Marrero
Coral Gables

A Cynical Fellow

Who just might want to decide on a last name: Regarding Jean Carey's story, "Live to Tell" (January 5): Sigh ... shut up and let us enjoy the album. It's certainly not the worst of most of the garbage the music industry feeds the world.

Whitfield Palmer
Miami Beach

Finally a Mencken Lover

He knew what made the clock tick: Regarding "Darwin This" by Mariah Blake (December 29): Ms. Blake seems to have bought into the lie that tongue-speaking, snake-handling fundamentalist Christians crafted intelligent design. The story of Creation, like everything in the first five books of the Bible, comes from the Torah. And Rabbi Tendler, like a small minority of Orthodox Jews, is trying to take back intolerance from lesser people and place them among Yahweh's chosen people.

Since Jews make up a small minority of the U.S. population (and the ultra-Orthodox make up an even smaller fraction of that), someone is needed to do their dirty work for them, and in this case, the grunt work is being done mostly by fundamentalist Christians.

Fortunately, as evidenced by the members of the audience, this isn't a majority view. ID is an idea that best belongs in a synagogue or a church. To paraphrase H.L. Mencken: Whenever you mix science with religion, you wind up with something that is neither religious nor scientific. These words are every bit as true today as they were when Mencken wrote them in the Twenties. To allow ID in science class would give the would-be American Taliban one foot in the door.

Robert C. Lewis

Music Editor

Miami New Times has an opening for a music editor. This full-time position entails planning and editing the weekly music section, writing feature stories and a weekly column, and working with freelancers. Qualified candidates must have strong writing and organizational skills and be well versed in Latin, hip-hop, DJ/dance, and indie rock. Applicants should send a cover letter, resumé, and five clips to Jean Carey, managing editor, 2800 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL 33137.

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