Just about one of the best things you can say about Jeffrey Loria's stewardship of the Miami Marlins is that he hasn't changed the team's name to something offensive. In fact, an elegant-looking fish is probably one of the least offensive things to name your team for.
And it's that fact that kept Loria from being named the worst professional sports team owner in existence according to Rolling Stone. He had to settle for number two.
Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington team name you probably don't want to argue with your uncle over on Thanksgiving, took first place for continuing to aggressively defend the team's problematic name and general poor ability to run a winning franchise.
"Because he's Daniel Snyder, and because fuck you," writes RS. "Fuck your access to a true narrative, fuck your local pride, fuck your fandom, fuck your pocketbook, fuck your fun and fuck a genocide."
Loria gets off with slightly better treatment. He wasn't told to go fuck himself one single time!
Rolling Stone does go in on Loria for all the things everyone in town has already dug into him for. So this isn't exactly news, but it still helps our local sense of feeling screwed over by Loria to have it repeated in a national magazine.
The write-up even came after the Marlins' blockbuster deal with Gaincarlo Stanton. Though, that didn't impress much.
"And he's already started on the competitiveness shell game again, signing slugger Giancarlo Stanton to a heavily backloaded $325 million contract that Keith Olbermann sublimely tore to bits just a day later. But you get to make those decisions when you're someone who got a start in this world buying art for Sears."
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.