It May Soon Be Illegal to Get a Massage at Night in Florida

Hopefully you don't have a midnight massage habit, because the state of Florida may limit the hours massage therapists can work from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. The bill recently passed a state House subcommittee, and if the whole House passes the law, it could go into effect as soon as October 1.

Now maybe you're surprised that our anti-regulation, "pro-business," Republican-heavy legislature would actually get into the business of placing time restrictions on private businesses.

Though, in news that may shock the most naive and sheltered among us, there's a certain segment of massage therapists that do more than just work out that kink out of your back. They tend to get in the pole position. Really work the stress out of your groin muscles. Make sure the massage session ends happily. See, sometimes they are actually basically hookers.

Tallahassee has apparently just learned of the fact that sometimes these so-called massage studios and spas are basically just brothels. And, as a way to curb prostitution and the sex trafficking often involved with it, they think that limiting the hours you're allowed to get a massage would cut down on these rogue handjob factories masquerading as spas.

Of course, legitimate massage therapists don't like the idea of having limits placed on their business as a result.

"Personally, as a licensed professional, it's hard to accept that I'm being limited on the hours I'm allowed to work," masseuse Alex Spassoff told the subcommittee according to The Sun-Sentinel.

The Florida State Massage Therapy Association points out that there are plenty of late night customers looking for legitimate services like airline pilots and theatrical performers.

By the way, don't worry ladies. The use of "personal massage devices" would not be limited.

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Kyle Munzenrieder