Sports writers across the country were saying "Auuuu!" this morning over the prospect of making a Fort Knox worth of puns based on the name of University of Miami's new head football coach Al Golden. It's a "golden era" as the "golden Canes" take a "golden opportunity" on a new "golden boy," don't you know. Facing the prospect of having to read hundreds, if not thousands of hacky "Golden" puns over the next few years, we'd really like to call on our fellow journalists to snip this in the bud right now.
Look, here's a quick roundup of headlines employing "Golden" puns from around the media today:
- CBSMiami: UM To Officially Introduce Its New "Golden" Boy
Florida Today: Golden's opportunity perfect fit for 'Canes
NBC29: Golden Choice For Hurricanes
Philadelphia Daily News: Golden opportunity as Temple coach moves on to Miami
NBCSport's CFT: Temple confirms: 'Canes are Golden
Star News Online: Miami's new Golden boy a good hire, even if it's not a sexy one
The Times Leader: Source: Miami finds its new Golden boy
- CBS Philly: A Golden Oppurtunity
- CaneSpace: Miami Has A Golden Opportunity
- South Bend Tribune: Hurricanes entering a Golden era
- The Reporter: COLLEGE FOOTBALL: A Golden Era coming to Miami
- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: There Will Be No Golden Era of Pitt Football!!!
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And that's just headlines! We'd be here all day trying to track down all the puns in the actual copy. (Really though, no one went for how the 'Canes hire is "solid Golden?")
Can we just end this now? Please?
Though, we will make on exception for a quip from Everyday Should be Saturday: "PLEASE NAME THE LOCKER ROOM SHOWERS AFTER HIM BECAUSE GET IT HAHAHAHA."
Ok, that is the only Golden pun we will ever endorse. Everyone else, please get it out of your system now.