| Humor |

France's Kim Kardashian Booked for Attempted Murder, and There's a Florida Connection

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A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest. This week, that includes the Florida connection to France's reality show attempted murder and the worst shoplifter in America.

French Kim Kardashian Arrested for Attempted Murder

Nabilla Benattia is the Kim Kardashian of France. Yes, even the French with all their superiority complexes, refer to her regularly as la Kim Kardashian française. (Seriously, you'd think they'd be like, "Oh, but monsieur, Kim Kardashian is actually the Nabilla Benattia of America, oui oui!")

Well, last weekend the reality star was arrested for the attempted murder of her boyfriend, Thomas Vergara, after allegedly stabbing him with a knife.

But to understand both how Benattia became so famous and how she met Vergara you have to come back to -- where else? -- Florida.

Les Anges de la téléréalité (The Angels of Reality TV) is a popular French TV show where they send minor French reality stars to America to try to become famous. (As if we don't have enough reality TV stars of our own.) Season 2 took place in Miami, but by Season 5 they had to settle for Fort Lauderdale. Benattia first came to semi-fame in a French Dating in The Dark-type show, but didn't shoot to super stardom until the Fort Lauderdale-set show. It's on that show that she met Vergara, who aspired to be both a male model and comedian. (Yes, really.)

The humor is hard to translate, but basically Benattia rose to fame in France after a clip from the show went viral in which she yelled at her fellow female castmates who didn't bring shampoo. "It's as if I were to tell you, I'm a girl, but I don't have any hair!" she yelled. Yeah, yeah, French humor.

Anyway, the important thing is that she tried to kill her boyfriend. Allegedly! Authorities arrived to French hotel to find Vergara left with multiple stab wounds to the chest. Both tried to blame it on random attackers, but the story didn't hold up. Benattia then tried to clam she did it in self-defense, but French police weren't buying the story and arrested her on a charge of second-degree attempted murder.

Anyway, other cast members from her season recorded a song called "Ocean Drive Avenue," in which the lyrics proclaim all your dreams can come true on Ocean Drive. Which, well, is something Miamians should see.

Here's a Man Stuffing a Chainsaw Down His Pants in an Attempt to Steal It

The best way to steal a chainsaw is probably just to turn it on and threaten everyone while running out of the store with it. No one would fuck with you. But you could also try this ...

The incident happened on October 28 in Port St. Lucie. Anthony Ballard, a homeless man, actually managed to get the chainsaw out of the store and rode off with it on a bike. He eventually dropped the saw off in the woods, but police found him when came back to look for the saw.

Man Offers Undercover Cop Chicken Dinner for Sex

As part of a prostitution sting, female cops in Sanford were out posing as prostitutes. Steven Torres, 32, pulled up to one of the officer and tried to make a deal. He offered her a chicken dinner and three dollars in exchange for sex. He ended up getting arrested.

You know, if a prostitute actually agrees to chicken and $3 in exchange for sex, you've probably got yourself an undercover officer. No real prostitute is going to accept that. If they agree to that just say "Ha, ha, just kidding, and get out of there." Prostitutes get paid to put greasy meat-covered bones in their mouth, not buy greasy meat-covered bones they'll put in their mouth.

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