Florida Republican Women Dare to Defy The Oprah

Bow down before the Oprah.

What's the difference between God and Oprah? Lipstick. Why then does the Florida Federation of Republican Woman dare to defy the will of the Holy Oprah?

The Oprah has cast down upon the Earth her declaration that no mortal political figures will appear on her show this season due to her public support of the chosen one, Barack Obama. Even Obama has been banned from the show since he officially declared his candidacy.

While this seems all fair and sensible, it's put the Oprah, worshipped by a majority of housewives in this country, in an awkward place during a campaign season that has been historic for women. First Hillary put 18 million cracks in that glass ceiling, and now Sarah Palin is making us want to put 18 million cracks in our own skull. Palin won't find an audience with the Oprah, and the Florida Republican women are committing blasphemy. They're boycotting the show, and canceling their subscriptions to the Holy scripture, O: The Oprah Magazine .

According to the Miami Herald's Naked Politics, the group's president issued the following statement.

"With our Republican sisters across the nation, we have collectively enjoyed her entertaining, informative, and female-driven programming as we raised our families and became more empowered as women. We are deeply disappointed in Ms. Winfrey's decision to sit out the greatest political moment in the history of women since suffrage."

Really? They're characterizing this as the biggest thing since suffrage? Hello Geraldine Ferraro, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi. Oh, they're Democrats, they don't count. They obviously need some context to see that Palin not getting an Oprah spot isn't the worse thing in the world.

Palin has plenty of other options for daytime TV. In an awkward role reversal, she can visit "The Martha Stewart Show" and try to concentrate on making a salad while Martha grills her on Troopergate. She can drop by "Maury" with Bristol to get those pregnancy rumors straightened out once and for all (Levi, You are NOT the father!). Or she can go on "The View". If she can survive a grilling by those ladies, than she can surely take on anything.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

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Kyle Munzenrieder