October 3, 2011 | 11:10am
Oh, you're still complaining about the Facebook redesign? Just be grateful the site didn't lead to you being shot by a man you thought was a woman.
Jacksonville, Florida resident and Twitter enthusiast Christopher Harris had only recently returned to the cold embrace of Mark Zuckerberg's social network and thought he had met a nice girl through the site. When he went to pick her up for a date, though, he was met by a man with a gun and had to escape "James Bond"-style. He's sticking to Twitter from now on.
According to News4Jax
, Harris had arranged to meet the woman he thought he was chatting with last week. He followed the driving directions she had given him, but found he'd been directed to a dimly lit, dead-end street.
His Facebook sweetie wasn't there. Instead he met a man with a gun who began shooting at his car. Harris tried his best to escape, in a manner inspired by 007.
"I'm glad I watched James Bond yesterday," he tells News4Jax
. "I just threw it in reverse and got out of there."
Unfortunately, while escaping, Harris also hit a tree and a fence, which severely smashed up the rear end of his car.
"I'm mad I hit a tree, though," he says. "I really wish I didn't hit that tree."
Harris called cops, but when officers logged onto Facebook, they found that the "woman's" profile had already been deleted.
As for Harris, he might follow her Facebook deletion lead.
"I don't even like Facebook. I was on Twitter; then I go back to Facebook for two days and this happens to me and I'm not going back to Facebook," Harris says.
"I'm staying on Twitter. Stuff like that don't happen on Twitter."
Eh, we're not so sure. Did you know @NotTinaFey
really is not Tina Fey, and @BettyFckngWhite
is fckng not actually Betty White. Plus all those self-proclaimed "social media experts" on Twitter? We're pretty sure none of them is actually a social media expert.
Be careful out there in cyberspace -- you never know who anyone really is. But if you do end up meeting anyway, it's best to prepare by watching a James Bond movie the day before.
Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.