Florida Group Wants Law to Encourage All Homeowners to Own Guns

Supporters of special interest group "Big Firearm" are at it again, trying to impinge on freedom-loving Americans' constitutional right not to own a gun. Some fancy organized group calling itself the Marion County Campaign for Liberty is pushing for an ordinance in the Florida county of Marion that would require the head of each land-owning household to undergo firearm training and encourage them to own a gun.

Are we just going to let this so-called campaign for liberty chip away at our God-given liberty not to own a gun? Sounds like some tyrannical doublespeak to me. Communist even! In fact, it smells an awful lot like a page out of the playbook of those socialists over there in Switzerland. I know one thing: If it happens in Europe, I sure as hell don't want it implemented in the freedom-loving state of Florida.

According to WOGX, the group presented its proposed law to the county commission. It's not a mandate, but just a recommendation. Sure, that's where it starts, but we all know one day they're "recommending" something and the next they're using taxpayer money to give every man, woman, child, and dog an AK-47. Slippery slope. One day we'll have men marrying their semiautomatic rifles if we're not careful! How am I supposed to explain that to my children?

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This proposal is also a downright slap in the face to our beloved free-market economy. We're just going to let some government suits inform people how to spend their hard-earned money on protection for their family? What if someone wants to protect their family with a crossbow? A Taser? Dynamite-rigged booby traps? A trained pack of Doberman pinschers with lasers attached to their heads? Or just good old-fashioned jujitsu training? Hiya!

It's a free market, people! They're already telling us what health insurance we have to buy, and that's bad enough. Am I right?

As an American citizen, I firmly believe I should be able to do as little as possible. My day is already packed with listening to "Proud to Be an American" on repeat, flag folding, and drawing pictures of bald eagles with tears streaming down their feathered cheeks, and I do all those things of my own accord. I don't want some bureaucrat coming to my damn house telling me I've got to go get trained about how to fire a gun, and neither should the citizens of Marion County.

And what if we're inadvertently teaching potential criminals how to use guns? I've got some neighbors down the street that I sure as hell don't want having guns. I've seen their kids running around the lawn. Just criminals waiting to happen. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Damn Luxembourgers! Oh yeah, I said it. I ain't got time for this P.C. crap. Luxermbourgers with their eyebrows. You just know they've got the Devil in 'em.

I tell ya what. All Marion County citizens should firmly believe in the protection of their right not to own a gun, and if they don't like it, they can get out of America. Go to Switzerland, why don't ya? Cuz these colors don't run! Red, white and blue, baby! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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