Kevin Brann had already rear ended himself on Friday night before rear ending another car in Martin County.
Yes, after Brann was arrested for drunk driving, deputies discovered that a butt plug had fallen out onto the floor of the backseat of their patrol car.
According to the Off the Beat blog, deputies arrived to a crash scene at about 11:20 p.m. on February 24th. Brann's eyes were bloodshot, his speech blurry, and his balance unstable. He failed to perform several field sobriety tests, and the deputy realized that he had already peed himself. He'd soil himself once more on the way to jail.
But deputies also found Brann's butt plug.
"The defendant had a sexual anus plug in his rectum, which he removed, or fell out in rear of my patrol car. (placed in defendants property)," reads the arrest report.
Sexual anus plug in his rectum, huh? Is that the legal term for butt plug? We can only imagine the following discussion took place:
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SHOW ME HOW
Officer #1: So, do I just write "butt plug" in the police report?
Officer #2: No, no, you've got to be professional about these things. Write something official sounding like "sexual anus plug in his rectum."
Officer #1: But wait, if its an anus plug wouldn't I write that its in his anus and not his rectum? What's the difference between an anus and a rectum?
Officer #2: Do you really think I want to be having this discussion right now?
Officer #1: Hey, there's nothing wrong with learning about new things.
Once at jail, Brann's blood alcohol level was measured at .409 and .412. The legal limit is 0.08, meaning that Brann was about five times over the legal limit.
Brann sounds like he has a few problems, but at least he wasn't arrested for robbery and given the nickname the "butt plug bandit."