Today, from 3 to 6 p.m. the waiters, cooks and housekeepers of Fisher Island are staging a protest at the Ferry landing off of MacArthur Causeway. Approximately 1000 underlings are pissed off, it seems, that their super-rich overseers have decided not to provide them with a living wage and health benefits.
According to statistics provided by the Service Employees International Union, providing health benefits for the island’s employees would run about $1.6 million –not too bad, considering the average worth of each of the island’s residents is $10 million. Taken together, the rich motherfuckers on Fisher Island are worth a whopping $2.16 billion. Fisher Island’s Human Resources director could not be reached for comment.
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So make sure to honk your horn and stuff in support of these poor bastards. Aren’t you glad you live in a cool democracy -- and not one of those lame socialist-democratic Scandinavian ones where people don’t hold these kinds of protests? God it feels good to be an American. --Calvin Godfrey