Exclusive Pokemon Go Characters Released in Miami

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CP Level: 420
Rarity: Very common
Area: Literally everywhere, even though it’s not supposed to be allowed
Attacks: Munchie Madness, the Hot Box, Spaced Out (he just randomly loses turns when he forgets to attack)

CP Level: 100cc
Rarity: Common
Area: Heavy concentration in South Beach, some in Brickell, may appear at E11even
Attacks: Tit Tease, Sonic Spit, Charge Beam (victim thinks it wins the battle but later finds fraudulent charges on its credit cards)
DJ Khaled

CP Level: Da best
Rarity: Very rare
Area: Found only circling Biscayne Bay at night via Jet Ski
Attacks: No actual attacks; simply gathers other Pokémeng and makes them attack for him (critical hits every time)

CP Level: A devastating 106 was captured just this past year
Rarity: Common
Area: The Everglades, all day, every day
Attacks: Gator Grapple, Fang Bang, and Super Swallow (this snake eats its prey whole)

CP Level: 1
Rarity: Very rare
Area: Found only within a two-mile radius of the American Airlines Arena, though he’s been seen there only sporadically in the past two years
Attacks: Raptor Screech, Power Forward Rush Attack, Sick Burn (supereffective fireballs, but he has to sit out the next two rounds)
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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.