With poll numbers showing that Floridians will likely pass a medical marijuana amendment in November, its time to start thinking long and hard about what it will look like in Florida.
For many people with illnesses, smoking medical marijuana may not be the best route. Marijuana edibles are already a booming business in states that have legalized the treatment, but often those products may not be best suited for the delicate Florida palate. Riptide cares deeply about people getting the best medical care possible, and wants to ensure that every Floridian gets the best treatment possible. As such, we've researched some ways to inject some medicinal herb into Florida's favorite foods.
Kief Lime Pie
Key Lime Pie is undoubtedly Florida's signature dish (even that Deadspin list thinks so), and fittingly there is already at least one recipe online for how to inject a little medicinal herb into it. The nice thing about the recipe is the special ingredient is only in the crust. That way you're not messing with the tasting of the filler, and you can actually eat a sizable slice without worrying about getting too high.
There are very few places outside Miami where it would occur to anyone to put weed in Cuban croquetas, so there's not a recipe online (nor for just more general croquettes). There is however recipes for cannbis flour. SF Weekly has the details. So just ask your abuela for her recipe and experiment.
Weed Mayonnaise for [Your Favorite Local Supermarket] Sub
We all know that the true favorite food of any Floridian is a sub from [Your Favorite Local Supermarket]. We have no idea what the stance of [Your Favorite Local Supermarket] Sub is on medical marijuana, nor do we wish to find out in court. We also know that all the ingredients that make your [Your Favorite Local Supermarket] Sub are pre-made in the store. However, here's a recipe for weed mayonnaise. You figure it out.
Mickey Mouse Magic Brownies or Cookies
This isn't the most original idea. Just make regular old weed brownies or cookies and cookie cut them up to look like Mickey Mouse's head. I'm just saying if you're near the Orlando area, suffering from a debilitating disease and would like to watch Fantasia, it just seems rather appropriate.
Stoned Florida Crackers
Apparently putting weed and peanut butter on crackers is already a thing, and why pass up an opportunity to make a Florida cracker joke?
Like croquetas (which these aren't that much different from really), you're going to have to experiment with that weed flour. We're sure someone can come up with a decent recipe. Meanwhile, we're going to lament the fact that the tourist tour in Key West is run on something called the "Conch Train" and the "Conch Bus." Sadly we'll never be able to make puns about eating Conch-ibis Fritter and getting on the Conchy bus. Puns are very important when you're properly medicated.
Orange (and Green) Cake
This is Florida and we should take every chance we get to promote the glorious wonders of orange juice. Because we are state patriotic (Statriotic? Is that a word? Why isn't that a word? There's something to think about next time you're high ...assuming you have a medical condition ...assuming it's after this amendment passes and is implemented into law, naturally). So here's a recipe for orange cake that lists orange juice as an official recipe. Add some weed butter in place of the regular stuff and viola!
Those Weird Hard Candies Old People Like to Keep in Jars (Except with Weed In Them)
Florida has a lot of old people. Old people really like keeping odd flavors of hard candies in decorative jars in their homes. Marijuana-infused candies are already a booming business in states' where marijuana is legal (for medical or recreational reasons). When viewing the websites of manufacturers of weed candies we noted that their offerings tended towards the juvenile palette: gummy bears, lollipops, cotton candy.
Clearly someone needs to start preparing recipes for weed candies that appeal to Florida's older population: namely butterscotch-flavored hard candies, those things that come in wrappers that look like real strawberries, and starlight mints. Thank us later when your sales boom in 2015.
Obviously suggested only for old people with no grandkids or whose grandkids never come and visit because "I don't know why you're still mad at me after all of these years, Kathleen. I thought I was doing what was best at the time, and don't you think your kids deserve to get to know their grandma before she dies?"