Sports

Dolphins Coach Joe Philbin Basically Idealizes Seinfeld's George Costanza

One would hope their team's football coach's favorite fictional character was some hyper-masculine conquerer like Conan the Barbarian or Mel Gibson's take on William Wallace in Braveheart. Sure, it would make them a drag to talk to at parties, but identifying with such brave warriors would hopefully channel into their leadership on the field. 


So, who is Joe Philbin's favorite character? Oh, just George Costanza from Seinfeld, the biggest neurotic loser in sitcom history.


The new Dolphins coach quotes the short, bald, neurotically slow-witted character from "Seinfeld." Philbin loves the show. He fell asleep on many Wisconsin nights watching Seinfeld re-runs on the bedroom television.

As Dolphins assistants break up from a meeting, Philbin says, "Onward and upward," which was George's whimsical battle-cry for some episodes. Upon leaving a room, he says he's "going out on a high note," to "leave them wanting more" -- another well-known Costanza-ism.

Of all the television characters to have constantly on the brain, Philbin picks Costanza? The dude's biggest success in the nine-year run on that show is that his fiance died after having an allergic reaction to envelope glue. Seriously, that was just about the only thing that worked out right for George in 180 episodes. 

What kind of possible George Costanza life lessons could Philbin bring to the Dolphins? Perhaps he'll quit in the middle of the season, and show up at practice the next day like nothing happened. Maybe he'll shout angrily from the sidelines that the jerk store called and they're running out of refs. Will he show up to a press conference in head-to-toe velvet. 

Though, Costanza did have one triumph in saving a dying marine mammal, something Philbin will also have to do coaching the Dolphins. Lets just hope he doesn't tell anyone he's not really a marine biologist if he does manage to turn the Dolphins around. 

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Kyle Munzenrieder