Humor

Christopher Raphael Arrested for Throwing Poop at His Girlfriend UPDATE

Even in a state notorious for its poop crime, a young South Floridian named Christopher Raphael has set a new low bar for fecal offenses by allegedly assaulting his girlfriend with a handful of shit. The Palm Beach Post reports the 24-year-old was arrested Monday after police say he rampaged through his house, beat his 19-year-old girlfriend with a variety of objects, and finally threw "body waste" at her.

"He cannot get away with this again," the woman told police.


Update: Riptide has Raphael's police report -- it's pretty gruesome. Click through for the full document.


West Palm Beach police arrested Raphael around 11 a.m. Monday, the Post reports, after responding to a domestic violence call.

When police arrived, the victim said that in addition to the poop assault, Raphael had hit her with his hands and a "bed board" and had shattered windows in the house and in her car.

Raphael didn't exactly play it cool during the arrest. The arresting officer reports that Raphael told his girlfriend she was "rapping too much to the police."

He has been charged with two counts of battery and criminal mischief.


Riptide has requested his full arrest report; we'll post it when West Palm PD sends it along.

Update: Check out the full report below. We've blocked out the name of the victim to protect her privacy:
Raphael Report

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Tim Elfrink is a former investigative reporter and managing editor for Miami New Times. He has won the George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.
Contact: Tim Elfrink