Even in a state notorious for its poop crime, a young South Floridian named Christopher Raphael has set a new low bar for fecal offenses by allegedly assaulting his girlfriend with a handful of shit. The Palm Beach Post reports the 24-year-old was arrested Monday after police say he rampaged through his house, beat his 19-year-old girlfriend with a variety of objects, and finally threw "body waste" at her.
"He cannot get away with this again," the woman told police.
West Palm Beach police arrested Raphael around 11 a.m. Monday, the Post reports, after responding to a domestic violence call.
When police arrived, the victim said that in addition to the poop assault, Raphael had hit her with his hands and a "bed board" and had shattered windows in the house and in her car.
Raphael didn't exactly play it cool during the arrest. The arresting officer reports that Raphael told his girlfriend she was "rapping too much to the police."
He has been charged with two counts of battery and criminal mischief.