4
| Columns |

Carlos Alvarez, Won't You Please Be My Facebook Pal?

Kudos to Miami Herald reporters Matt Haggman and Scott Dolan, who today whacked Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez really good. Turns out our dear alcalde fuerte was doling out raises to his favored employees while taking the ax to the rest of the county budget.

Of course, don't forget yours truly was the first to expose the largesse in the mayor's and county manager's offices. Anyway, the Herald's report has Alvarez's flack Vicki Mallette defending her 54 percent pay raise over the past year by noting, among other difficult duties, she sometimes writes the mayor's speeches.

Hey, until you've walked a mile in her shoes, you don't know what it's like. But I digress.

The Herald reporters noted Alvarez is already paying speechwriter Eric Esteban $46,000 a year to cover that. In the story, Mallette explains Esteban also responds to constituent letters, composes occassional talking points, and updates the mayor's Facebook page.

Except Banana Republican is having the darndest time trying to locate the mayor's page to request him as a friend. Despite what our readers might think, I secretly desire to be part of Alvarez's inner circle so I don't have to be bitter anymore about not making a six-figure salary.

I came across a group page called "Re-Elect Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez." That couldn't be it. After all, Florida law makes it illegal for government employees to work on political campaigns on the taxpayers' dime. I doubt Alvarez and his 29th-floor posse are that dumb. Gotta say, though, 110 members is pretty embarrassing.

Banana Republican really wants to be your friend, Carlito. Please, please, please let me know where to find you on Facebook so I can poke you, tag photos of you driving your Beemer, use your help in Mob Wars, and take quizzes to see how much we have in common!

I mean, we could turn out to be FBBFs 4EVA! That would be so AWESOME!

^
Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

 

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.