Bill Nelson Releases 17-Word Statement on Gay Marriage; Marco Rubio Releases 482-Word Statement

The responses to the Supreme Court's decisions on gay marriage yesterday by Florida's two senators couldn't have been more different. Democrat Bill Nelson released a terse 17-word statement supporting the decision, while Marco Rubio spent 482 words explaining why he doesn't he agree with it.

Nelson actually only released the statement after being prodded by The Tampa Bay Times. Here it is in its full glory:

"The Supreme Court said the Constitution prohibits discrimination of lawfully wedded same-sex couples. I support this decision."

This is like a dad who just found out his son is gay and only replies, "Well, you're still my son." And sure, he's going to oddly refer to their partner as "my son's roommate" around the office, but the next time one of his buddies calls someone a "fag" at the poker game, he's gonna clear his throat and say, "Hey, come on guys, it's 2013." And there's gonna be a moment of awkwardness, but then he lays down a full house.

Marco Rubio, however, is like your fundie cousin who says stuff like, "I don't hate gay people, but..." and then spends ten minutes talking about why he thinks gays are still kind of icky.

You can read the full Rubio statement here, but here are some key excerpts:

"I believe that marriage is a unique historical institution best defined as the union between one man and one woman. In the U.S., marriage has traditionally been defined by state law, and I believe each state, acting through their elected representatives or the ballot, should decide their own definition of marriage. For the purposes of federal law, however, Congress had every right to adopt a uniform definition and I regret that the Supreme Court would interfere with that determination.

I appreciate that many Americans' attitude towards same-sex marriage have changed in recent years. I respect the rights of states to allow same-sex marriages, even though I disagree with them. But I also expect that the decisions made by states like Florida to define marriage as between one man and one woman will also be respected.

Rubio ends his statement with a call for the end of bullying. No, not of gay people, but of people who don't want gays to get married.

My hope is that those of us who believe in the sanctity and uniqueness of traditional marriage will continue to argue for its protection in a way that is respectful to the millions of American sons and daughters who are gay. It is also my hope that those who argue for the redefinition of marriage to include same-sex marriage will refrain from assailing the millions of Americans who disagree with them as bigots.

Sure, whatever you say, bigot.

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Kyle Munzenrieder

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