During Memorial Day weekend in Miami, even if it doesn't rain, there will be a perfect storm of liquor, music, and dancing from South Beach to downtown, and up I-95 to King Of Diamonds -- not to mention every strip club in between.
From all-day festivals at Bicentennial Park and booze breakfasts at Nocturnal to Washington's finest at SOBE Live and Dream, every name in hip-hop, dancehall, and R&B will be hitting the 305's streets. The most popular rappers in the universe will be hosting and performing at all our best clubs, and South Florida's strippers will make enough skrilla in three days to buy themselves a foreclosed home on the Beach.
Here are the five best parties for the biggest urban weekend in the best city in the world.
Jeezy. Friday, May 27, 10 p.m., Dream, 1532 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4444; dreammia.com. Tickets cost $30 via wantickets.com. The realest realist in the rap game will deal more crack tonight than in a year on the block. But we're not talking pots-and-pans crack. We're talkin' ass crack, and more females showing out than a porno movie. DJ Armageddon will keep those booties shaking while the general incites total bottle-popping madness. And then once the whole crowd is loose, every square inch of the club is packed, and the bass has got every half-naked body soaked to the bone, Jeezy's gonna say, "Thaaasss right," and leave all of South Beach beamed up till it's time for breakfast.
Lil Wayne and Drake. Friday, May 27, 10 p.m., King Of Diamonds, 17800 NE Fifth Ave., Miami; 305-999-9500; kodmiami.com. Tickets cost $50 for general admission or $100 for VIP via wantickets.com. When the second biggest strip club in the world throws a party on the biggest urban weekend in the country and two of the biggest names in popular rap music are headlining, then you know it's going to be a motherfucking movie. Wayne and Drake may be at King of Diamonds every Monday, but most of the tourists who hear them rap about it in their songs have never experienced a night at the club with the most valuable strippers in Miami.
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Wale. Friday, May 27, 11 p.m., Nocturnal, 50 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-576-6996; nocturnalmiami.com. Tickets cost $25 general admission or $40 VIP via wantickets.com. Wale has been building his name in the music industry for over a decade, perfecting his craft and holding out for the big money. You may not have known him a couple of years ago. But since signing his deal with Rick Ross' Maybach Music Group, the DC stunna has become an unavoidable force in the world of urban entertainment. The self-made kingpin with the rapid-fire flow, hyperkinetic lyrical ability, and popular appeal smashes through downtown at one of the wildest clubs in the city. And since he's been touring arenas hard for months with Ross and Wayne, you can expect a performer at the top of his game.
Keri Hilson. Saturday, May 28, 10 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-2820; sobelivesouthbeach.com. Tickets cost $30 general admission and up to $1500 for a 12-person VIP table via wantickets.com. We know her name's Keri and she's fine, and she's got a beautiful derriere. But we just won't be fully satisfied till we find out if she really tastes sweeter than a Swisher. Hey, we don't hate for being beautiful. As a matter of fact, that "Pretty Girl Rock" song is fire, and we're looking forward to catching up with Keri poolside on South Beach. This lady, riding high on the crest of her hit single, brings a great female-driven dynamic to the weekend. Not to mention, SoBe Live will be giving ladies free admission and drinks till midnight, so the venue's gonna be packed tight like Keri in some leather pants.
He can dance like Michael Jackson, sing like Sam Cooke's younger brother, and beat up a stage like Ike Turner. As a headliner at one of the biggest outdoor concerts of the year, Chris Brown will belt out his tunes so loud that all of Downtown Miami will hear him, literally. Those Bicentennial speakers ring out like church bells on steroids. An array of crooners including Trey Songz and Lloyd keep the vocal range smooth and the R&B sexy at our favorite outdoor festival venue with a killer view of the Biscayne Bay and the city skyline. Then on Sunday, the Caribbean cartel takes over with a serious dancehall bashment party that brings in fans from Minnesota to Montego Bay. The inimitable Shabba Ranks, an elder statesman of the dancehall movement, brings his gravel-toned lyrics, Sanchez provides the "lovers' rock," and Marley bros Stephen and Damian provide the modern urban reggae sounds alongside the best of the best in the game right now.