If you're single on V-Day, don't feel weird -- South Florida is full of the similarly unattached and possibly disillusioned! Join them and be alone, together, at these V-Day alternative parties.... Or if you're in one of those couples that eschews commercial "holiday" traditions, pass go, collect 100 punk points, and check these out too.
*John Hughes Tribute Night at Bar. Considering John Hughes movies are sappy as hell, this might not be the best choice for the self-indulgently depressed. Still, Bar's drinks are cheap as hell -- besides the usual selection, Sunday night PBR and Tecate are $2 a can. So, not only can you drink yourself into an inexpensive stupor (and inhale self-pity calories from free popcorn), but Bar's bright lighting kill most romantic notions pretty quickly. Bar, 28 NE 14th St., Miami. Doors open at 5 p.m., admission is free. Age 21 and up.
*Cupid is Stoopid at White Room. Around the corner, White Room's got a new Sunday night devoted to hip-hop. That's the real hip-hop, not "rap" or whatever you want to call the strictly commercial stuff. Local MC Black Bobby hosts, and DJs D-Up, RK9, and Flyboi spin. Vodka slushies for $6 are a good deal, but a 16-oz PBR is $4, so the better deal on that is still back at Bar. White Room, 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Doors open at 10 p.m. Admission is free before 11 p.m., $4 after. Age 21 and up. 305-995-5050; whiteroommiami.com
*Konrad Black at Electric Pickle. This has the bonus of being
completely unrelated to V-Day. Instead, Pl0t's Sunday night party
celebrates the fact that some of you lucky assholes have Monday off.
Touring techno star Konrad Black headlines, and local guys Alejandro
Sab, Michael Christopher, and Basti support. No info on cover charge,
sorry. Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami. Doors open at 6 p.m. Age 21 and up. 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com
*Down, Tough Love Edition. The
best thing about dubstep is, it is so loud, crushing, and
all-encompassing, it immediately erases all other thoughts. Consider
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using it for Zen meditation. Kill the inner noise at the Tough Love
edition of the weekly bass-heavy Down party at Cinema. The line-up of
excellent local DJs includes The Reazin, Some Jerk, Gooddroid,
Ashworth, and DeadHead. Cinema, 637 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Doors open at 10 p.m., admission is free. Age 21 and up.