You know why non-EDM fans don't take DJing seriously as an art form? It's because celebrities keep ruining everything.
When shit went digital in the mid 2000s, it was the coolest thing to happen since Grandmaster Flash figured how to scratch. And consequently, DJing became more popular, experimental, and exciting than ever.
Unfortunately, this development also opened the door for any desperate, attention-seeking egocentric celeb to step up behind the decks and make a total fool of themselves.
10. Hulk Hogan
Recently, this picture of the macho mustache man made its way around the Internet to the shock of many a serious raver. The idea of the Hulk droppin' beats instead of bodies seemed too ridiculous to be true. And it is. Turns out, it's really his son, Nick Hogan, who is taking up turntables. Not sure the reality is much better though.
9. Lil Wayne
This video claims to be a clip of "Lil Wayne DJ's NYE 2012 @ Dream Night Club in South Beach." But here's what we don't understand ... How is he DJing if he's not doing anything? It looks like the guy next to him is wearing the headphones and trying to show him what to do. But Weezy just keeps MCing. And maybe it's better that way.
8. Alicia Keys
Alicia Keys is a great singer. But being a great selector takes a different set of skills. Her DJ name is AK-47, because her initials are A and K, and she likes to pop skulls in her spare time. It's nice of DJ Premiere to introduce her. It's also nice of him to help her catch the beat. Oh yeah, and those headphones are Beats By Dre, so you can see she knows the virtue of quality over celebrity.
7. Justin Bieber
Some of the best new DJs are barely old enough to smoke cigarettes. So maybe Bieber the boy-wonder can get his skills up in time for Ultra 2013. After watching this video, we think, uh, not so much. He looks like a two-year-old child playing DJ Hero. But at least he's got his enthusiasm cranked up to 11.
6. Prince Harry
This guy caught the DJ bug while hanging out in Jamaica. And recently, he announced intentions to become a reggae selector. Allegedly, he was so moved by meeting Bob Marley's widow, Rita, that he's buried himself in the rude sounds and begun taking spinning lessons from a friend. But currently, there are no plans for any Prince-ly public events.
5. Kanye West
Love him or hate him, Mr. West is usually pretty solid on the music front. But does it make him a good DJ just because he drops his own hits? Nah. You can't get away with it this time, dude. And did you catch his DJ name? It's Yeezy World Peace. Clearly, he takes this crap very seriously.
4. Elijah Wood
His taste in music seems pretty cool, we guess. It's not dance music. But why don't we ever get to hear the transitions? Maybe because they're awful? We can't know. But what we do know is the Woodman looks to be doing more texting and beer drinking than actual mixing. Bit of a yawn fest.
3. Pauly D
Sure, you could sit there and say things like, "No, he was a DJ before Jersey Shore. So that makes him different." But then you'd be defending DJ Pauly D. Why would you want to do that? His headphones have his name on them. And they're shiny.
He may have tricked Hollywood. But we're not buying the ex-Black Eyed Pea as a respectable turntablist. Just because you can produce beats, doesn't mean you can drop them. He's a radio darling. But the streets just aren't feeling it, bro.
1. Nick Cannon
This dude isn't even trying. He just put the two letters in front of his name and thought, "This will help." He doesn't even DJ in this stupid video. But at least he's being honest. He just wants to be famous. Because the DJ game is all about being the center of attention ... Right?