We say it every year ...
There's far too much Christmas music on the radio, and not nearly enough Hanukkah songs floating around the FM airwaves to soundtrack our non-denominational celebration of hyper-consumerism known simply as "The Holidays."
All we've ever wanted for Christmas, damn it, is a sexy slow-jam about just how rad the Festival of Lights really is.
And now, thanks to Too Short and TMZ, our Jewish friends have a holiday rap song to call their own.
Check out the Jewish joint after the cut.
Too Short's untitled Hanukkah jam may be a hip-hop/R&B first.
Crossfade can't think of a track, holiday or not, in the history of music in which the Yiddish words for potato pancake and butt frame a verse.
"I'm frying latkes, I'm making a mess/with some Jewish girls, pinchin' tookus..."
But "latkes" and "tookus" are only two examples of just how hard Too Short goes on Hanukkah. Homie's ode to the holiday also includes the Old Testament's oldest oral sex euphemism.
"Time to dust off my dreidel, make some kelt/ I ate mom's brisket, need to loosen my belt."
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However, our favorite line from the MC's seasonal song has to the one about getting freaky 'round the Menorah.
"This ain't Rosh Hashanah, this ain't Passover/ It's Hanukkah, baby, now move that ass over."