Ten Reasons the MTV Video Music Awards Are a Total Joke

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10. Katy Perry Is Nominated in Nine Categories

While we prefer Katy Perry's knowingly slutty winks and "Oops!" face to the bland, blonde Midwesternized pop queens from the Golden Age of TRL, we're still skeptical about Katy winning any award for Best Art Direction, even if she maybe manages to out-Gaga Gaga.

9. VMA Viewers Don't Know Tyler the Creator

Odd Future's crossover to the mainstream has inched that much further with Tyler's nomination for "Yonkers." But if you ask the straight media world, like, the average MTV-er is left scratching their head, which shouldn't surprise us. But it still provokes a WTF?

8. Bruno Mars. Period.

7. The VMAs Should Be In Miami, Not Los Angeles

The last time Miami hosted the VMAs, Shaq's big ugly mug was still draped over the American Airlines Arena. Just imagine ... LeBron could co-host with Russel Brand and the camera will periodically cut to Pat Riley wringing his hands in a dark corner.

6. MTV's Obsession With Its Own Legacy of Crappy Award Shows

Long before the internet cataloged everything from bowel movements to seven zillion vanity shots, MTV was stitching together a quilt of every last fart from the last 26 years of VMAs. They do this every year, adding footage from the year before as they go. We feel like we've seen Madonna roll around onstage in a wedding dress more times than we've been to actual weddings.

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Matt Preira