What's Miami native, "Brick in Yo' Face" rapper, internet celebrity, and self-proclaimed cocaine king Stitches do when he's gotta fund a reup?
Apparently, he joins eBay, lists his "STITCHES DONK," and waits for the bidders to bring a briefcase full of donk dollars to his "threshold." (That's Stitches speak for door.)
He may "love sellin' blow!" And "make drug money, fool, don't need a rap check, never." But it seems he wouldn't mind about $12,600 in cold, hard, used-car cash.
Now, it might seem this eBay account could be a fake.
After all, according to the World's Online Marketplace, Stitches has only "been an eBay member since Jan 14, 2015." And the "STITCHES DONK" is his first item for sale. (No bricks open for bidding yet.) So there aren't any buyer reviews or previous transactions to prove his authenticity and reliability as an e-commerce entrepreneur.
But we believe it's legit. The "item location" is indeed "Miami, Florida, United States." And the account has been opened under "KatsaPhil," an abbreviation of his birth name, Phillip Katsabanis.
Another reason to think this used-car sale might be real... The automobile itself just screams Stitches. It's the donkiest redonkulous donk. It's ostentatiously white. "It has 4 12 inch subs in the back," KatsaPhil writes. "Amazing sound system. TMIGANG ARMY LEATHER SEATS. AIR HORN. V6 MOTOR 26 INCH RIMS."
It's the sewed-up-mouth, no-snitching face tattoo of automobiles.
Did we mention that @stitches is also hyping this shit on Instagram?
A photo posted by TMI GANG (@stitches) on
So far, the "STITCHES DONK" has attracted 49 bids. And the price has reached $12,600. But KatsaPhil warns, this auction's gonna get more rapid-fire than an AK-47, bitch.
The bidding ends in exactly five days, 19 hours, and five minutes. He accepts PayPal, Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover. Shipping costs $500.
A warning, though... This "seller does not offer returns."
New Times' Top Music Blogs